Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Screaming Secrets

I am a no-good gossip monger.

For one, I know how it feels like to be talked about behind your back. My earliest recollection was when my youngest sister was born and people talked about how I wasn't around much before she came (my school is far from our town and I had to get out early and return late to avoid traffic), and how the new baby is mine and we were just pretending that she was my sister. I was 15 then.

When my mom lost her job, there was so much of these nasty stories as well. I saw how it upset my mother so much, that I developed an aversion to opening up to people because I was afraid they were going to use all this information against me when I am at my worst. I got over the fear eventually, but even though I have really close friends who know the most trivial things about me, I unintentionally was able to keep them to a comfortable number. A lot of people may have thought of my aloofness as of being self-absorbed, but it worked for me for some time and has protected me from a lot of hurt.

Apparently though for people, they seem to enjoy casting their scandals into the wind and do not care so much how these things can fall into the hands of other people who also haven't got better things to do. There's no point in asking someone to keep a secret for you when you have told the whole town about it!

I'm just saying that the world is full of can-opener people. If cans were alive and had feelings, imagine how excruciating it is to be turned around while being forcefully pried open, and expose your guts for everyone to see. How easy it is for people to expose you, when you're just like a spanish sardine bottle. It's alright I guess to be transparent sometimes, but to be outrageously "out there", well, let's say some people deserve to be talked about in the first place. People like me who dislike all these drama, would tend to steer away from all the floating "chismes" at any given time, but often it just screams down your ear canal and thus, blogs like these.

It's really either a secret only the both of us know, or a secret which everybody knows. Sometimes, I wish people think it over more.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Facing me

I've been a writer since I started out in highschool. I've only been published (and paid for) when I got into college, and I was able to publish some more even when I was working with my previous companies. It was only last year that I decided that I want to write a book, and it's only the other day that I have actually started out with the first few sentences.

My journey into writing has taken me a decade.

I am now 26, and have finally decided that I can't wait till I'm 36 to finish the book I have started.