Heads or tails?

When in doubt, flip a coin. Your decision/wishes will be apparent even before your coin lands.

re-kindling my love for photography

Writing in vernacular 001

...naisip ko kasi marami namang pwede isulat, maraming paraan paano yun isulat, kalaban ko lang sarili ko kasi meron naman akong oras, panahon at pagkakataon. Ayoko na nang maraming pang pagdadahilan sa hindi ko pagsusulat.

Happiness

I have resolved a long time ago to thank God for even the minutest of things.

I slept last night on the sofa, writing and finally watching a movie before I fell asleep.
Today, I feel spiritually uplifted after listening to some good music, which I haven't done in a long time.

My soul is in such a state of happiness that, after a long time, I feel like I've found a heavenly calm and peace.

Thank God.

I played the guitar once, too.

Something new

My husband isn't home for the night, and instead of lavishing my solitude under the duvet without competing for space and silence, I decide to settle for the comfort of my sofa bed in the living room. For a change, and for an extended effort to write, I commit this night with the laptop, and possibly anything alcoholic, in the hopes that it might conjure anything poetic from me.

When I realized my passion in writing, I tried to go about how I saw writers did their thing. I was willing to try anything new that time; writing in Starbucks, writing in the library, getting drunk and trying to write (which was difficult) and smoking while writing. My parents were against it of course, especially my father who managed to dodge the habit,while being the only person in his job department who doesn't smoke. The rebellion at that time when I was just fresh from highschool was inspiring, especially from me who wasn't the type to actually rebel. But it was something new, and although cigarettes really did taste quite awful, it liberated me at some level that I wrote some of my best pieces during those periods. (I've quit the habit in honor of my father and my health.)

I've done so many new things, in fact so many they remain new. What I mean is they never grow old with me, because I can't seem to focus on them. Engaging in new things is always good, but now it has come upon me that I should try to make these "new" things, especially the ones that I really like, stick me with me because they are beneficial.

Here are some new things I've had over the past 2 weeks:

1. Walked around the park one time, by myself for an hour (good cardio and the music I had playing was refreshing!)
2. Did weights everyday for a week
3. Writing more in my blog and tweeting more, rather than Facebook-ing.
4. Spent some time with a girlfriend for some serious shopping and girl time.
5. Had wine and cheese with girlfriends, talking about our boys.
6.Colored my hair by myself.

Having listed that down, I maybe should do numbers 1 and 2 on a regular basis! New things should really be made into good habits, and should not remain a once in blue moon idea. And to be really honest, the shopping time I spent with my good friend Luisa uplifted my spirits to a level I have almost forgotten! It's like when a laptop or a mobile phone needs to get updated, we also need to get an extra "app" every now and then to make our lives more exciting! After which, we then keep the apps that will prove helpful to us in the long run.

My next something new on the list is to get an online writing course, to help me enhance my writing. I sure hope it doesn't remain a fleeting idea, though.

Screaming Secrets

I am a no-good gossip monger.

For one, I know how it feels like to be talked about behind your back. My earliest recollection was when my youngest sister was born and people talked about how I wasn't around much before she came (my school is far from our town and I had to get out early and return late to avoid traffic), and how the new baby is mine and we were just pretending that she was my sister. I was 15 then.

When my mom lost her job, there was so much of these nasty stories as well. I saw how it upset my mother so much, that I developed an aversion to opening up to people because I was afraid they were going to use all this information against me when I am at my worst. I got over the fear eventually, but even though I have really close friends who know the most trivial things about me, I unintentionally was able to keep them to a comfortable number. A lot of people may have thought of my aloofness as of being self-absorbed, but it worked for me for some time and has protected me from a lot of hurt.

Apparently though for people, they seem to enjoy casting their scandals into the wind and do not care so much how these things can fall into the hands of other people who also haven't got better things to do. There's no point in asking someone to keep a secret for you when you have told the whole town about it!

I'm just saying that the world is full of can-opener people. If cans were alive and had feelings, imagine how excruciating it is to be turned around while being forcefully pried open, and expose your guts for everyone to see. How easy it is for people to expose you, when you're just like a spanish sardine bottle. It's alright I guess to be transparent sometimes, but to be outrageously "out there", well, let's say some people deserve to be talked about in the first place. People like me who dislike all these drama, would tend to steer away from all the floating "chismes" at any given time, but often it just screams down your ear canal and thus, blogs like these.

It's really either a secret only the both of us know, or a secret which everybody knows. Sometimes, I wish people think it over more.